If you ever find one of Animal Planet’s reruns of The Crocodile Hunter while late-night channel surfing, I warn you: it is the saddest thing ever. Forget your Charlotte’s Web, or E.T. Forget your Bambi.

A lot of the show by the end was all about Quality Time With The Irwins, Australia’s Happiest and Most Perfect Family. Steve’s all “Last one in the creek’s a rotten Kookaburra!”, and Bindi’s up on his shoulders, all “You’re the best Daddy ever, we’re going to be happy forever!” Then your flatmate walks in on you, sitting there in your underwear, at two in the morning, with an empty bottle of Trafalgar Gin, weeping into a microwave Chicken Kiev. Don’t pretend this hasn’t happened to you.

– Nick

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