In his day Epicurus was said to need to vomit twice a day because he spent all his time on a couch being fed cheese by a rotating team of slaves. Of course, this later turned out to be a baseless lie by some establishment of hippy-hating squares, because as we all know true Epicurean hedonism is all about moderation, and freeing yourself from the hang-ups of material desire, and “stuff”.

Here’s a thing then. Epicurus invented the American Dream (slight generalisation). Epicurus was once falsely accused of eating too much cheese. Today, everyone in America literally has to vomit twice a day because of how much cheese they eat (also maybe a slight generalisation).

Things are so ironic when they are ironic.

– Matt

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